August 14, 2005

A Couple Couples

Wise comedian Jim Gaffigan once said "Why is it that when you are single, all you see are couples... and when you're a couple all you see are hookers?"

In that spirit, here are some of my favorite television/film/book couples and a few extremely corny puns. In no particular order:

Rogue and Gambit: Gambit, orphaned at an early age, discovers his powers of manipulating kinetic energy as a pickpocket in New Orleans. After joining the X-Men, this Cajun thief of hearts falls in love with Rogue, whose powers forbid any contact between the two. His secret guilt, her growing strength...threatens to break them apart. I may be a dork, but it’s hard to deny that the dangerous heat between these two makes the ink boil.

Scully and Mulder: I don’t know why you watched X-Files, but personally, beside the search for the truth, I was also eagerly hanging on for the conclusion of the electrifying sexual tension between the two agents. Their subdued, subtle, and constantly stifled attraction could have had the entire cabinet dedicated to its careful tracking. An understated look was often enough to be appropriately suggestive, without so much as a missing button on the suit jacket of the impeccably dressed duo.

Justin and Brian: Young-naïve-jail-bait Justin and dark-brooding-playboy Brian was either a match made in monogamy hell, sodomy heaven, or within the creative genius behind “Queer as Folk”. The raw chemistry between these two rising stars, give birth to a gay fantasy I never even knew I had. Their scenes together are some of the most openly passionate on-screen affairs, even for cable television (which is constantly pushing the erotica envelope. I mean have you seen "Nip/Tuck"?)

Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy: Bless Jane Austen and the social constrains of the Victorian age that force these two characters to engage in a battle of wits that leads haughty Mr. Darcy and lively, but equally proud, Miss Bennet to eventually realize that they are perfect for each other. Verbal sparring, romance, and courtship just aren’t what they used to be.

Buffy and Spike: Let’s forgive Spike the receding hairline, the platinum Billy Idol hair, the wimpy accent, the stupid name, and the sad fact that he is not even a quarter as good looking as Angel or Riley were. Let’s forgive Buffy her whiny, neurotic, self-indulgent tendencies. And let’s forgive that by Season Six, the show was a pathetic shadow of the once smartly written teen drama it actually used to be. That being said…there was something, incredibly, undeniably, and predictably hot about Bad Boy Spike and Good Girl Buffy. They were drawn together by a lust one could really sink their teeth into. Bram Stoker would agree: Vampires are sexy.

Anne and Gilbert: I have to confess…I never got over my initial obsession with “Anne of Green Gables” and until they got married, carrot-top-evening-star-eyed Anne and charismatic-handsome-confident Gilbert, were ideal. Everyone else knew they were going to end up together, but these two were blissfully ignorant, and their many adventures were a schoolgirl’s delight. But matrimony, no matter how holy, has ruined many a good thing. The Blythes were not spared the housewife doldrums and all too soon the series began to focus on their children. Betrayed, I abandoned all interest.

runner-ups: Omar Epps and Sanaa Lathan in "Love and Basketball" based largely on the "boy-next-door...literally" aspect of the film

Posted by Tatlis at August 14, 2005 10:59 PM
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